My time works in cycles, not days.

Usually when I write one of these entries, I have reached the end of a cycle. Like the end of a mini-chapter of my life, in a way. Major chapters are much more important. Actually, maybe my life isn't a book at all. It could be a series of books, or a set of volumes that make up my life. Maybe my life is an entire library, rather than a single set of anything. Well, if it is a library, which I have just decided it is, then I have just reached the end of another book. This one you might skip if you end up checking that library one day, but all the same, it's there.

Do you ever feel like, even though you're a person who likes people and enjoys their family, you just don't want anyone around you at all? It confuses me. Maybe it's because I've been isolating myself while combing Vice City over and over. It could also be because I've been sucked into the computer for the last couple of nights. Whatever the reason is, I've had the urge to take an adventure in my life. I would love to just sling a pack of supplies on my back and take off into the world, not knowing what would happen or where I would end up next. But that's too difficult to do. Not because I would worry about money, or getting lost, or ending up realizing that it's difficult to sleep in a different place every night. I can deal with those things. The difficult thing is finding uncharted territory to navigate. There's no challenge around here anymore. Everything that technology works to improve, to map out every road and every bike route, to create a blueprint of earth...it leads to this sense of an inability to venture into the unknown. I wish things were organic again. 

Realistically, I think that I would consider heading out to the Kodiak or one of those tiny ports in Alaska and talking my way onto a boat. To set sail and catch fish, weather freezing temperatures and drinking black coffee out of a tin cup, and generally facing nature and the elements. It would be like proving myself to the world...and it's my own life, so why not. I set sail at some point within the next few years. Now it's in the blog, so it has to be true.

I would love to venture into a place where you have to walk from village to village, to stay with kind people that you could tell your stories of your adventures, and to fight thieves and escape from those you can't fight. To have a life to speak of when you reach the end. It all leads to one thing.

I want to be in Avatar.